I have sent out all of the requests. Message me or my fiancé if you’re wondering about my new URL. I don’t come on here often, so yeah. It’s great to see so many of you there!
I have sent out all of the requests. Message me or my fiancé if you’re wondering about my new URL. I don’t come on here often, so yeah. It’s great to see so many of you there!
New blog is up and running.
Its mostly health stuff but will still be kinda like this blog in terms that I will do random update and political perspectives sometimes. Just ask me for the URL!
So dad…
I don’t even know what to say to you… I don’t know where to start… I never thought I’d be writing my last words to you (for who knows how long) at age 18, but I really can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry, but I can’t.
I need people to respect me and trust me, even if they don’t think that I am doing the right thing. Even if they don’t agree with me, everyone else still wishes me the best of luck. They may not approve, but they don’t treat me like you do. They aren’t saying mean, hurtful words to me.
I am making myself the person that I want to become & I wish that was enough for you, but apparently it’s not. I’m sorry about that.
I never wanted to hurt you, but I feel like you’ve always expected more out of me than I could give and I’ve come to a point where I can’t live to make you happy anymore. I have to make myself happy or I’ll never get to where I’m supposed to be. I hope that somehow, someday, you’ll realize that I’m not trying to defy you. I’m just trying to be happy.
I love Wesley more than anything in the world. He’s my life and no one has any clue how often he saved me from everything that hurt me. Without him, I don’t know where I’d be or if I’d even be here today. I’m going to marry him on June 13th and nothing anyone says or does will stop me.
I’m going to Dallin’s trials. I stand up for the people I love. && That’s final. Nothing that can happen to me will make me stop. I realize there may or may not be consequences in the long run. But I’ve made a personal decision to do this and it will not change.
I understand that not everything that I do is the wisest in your opinion, but I will not change just because I “don’t understand the world.” I’ll learn eventually. You should understand that growing up consists of making mistakes and sometimes a person has to make those mistakes themselves before they can really truly learn from them.
I also feel like it’s unfair how you used Tremayne against me yesterday. Threatening to not let my brother come to my wedding was cruel and you should know that it’s not right to do that. Just because you are made at me, doesn’t mean you should stop others from being around me. I’m not a bad person and I’ve been with Tremayne through everything, so taking him away from me is not right. I hope you realize that it won’t help anything to make threats like that. All it will do is make me even more unhappy with you and it will probably upset Tremayne too. If that’s what you want to do though, I guess you do have that power. I just hope that you are thinking about the consequences when you make your decision.
I loved you. I really did. But yesterday went way too far and telling me that I’m just like my mother cut deeper than any other insult ever could. You knew that would hurt me and the fact that you used it against me was more than I could handle. So I’m done now. I’m sorry I’m not who you want, but I won’t change to make other people happy.
Goodbye.
So I Really Need Help On This…
Do I delete this blog and make a new one (obviously giving my new URL to my bestest of Tumblr friends and any devoted followers who want it) or keep this blog and continue to say whatever the hell I want even though it will probably be used against me later since I know my father is reading all of it? Or I guess I could always keep this blog and just not post anything new, but start up a new blog and continue on there.
Today was hard. Really hard.
My father said some really upsetting things to me today… Things that I didn’t provoke and it made me had a mental breakdown during dance which resulted in me in the counseling office talking to one of the counselors. Although she helped a lot, I still don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to do or say. I’m just beyond upset. He’s making it so difficult for me to be happy when I really am not trying to hurt him at all.
Now I admit… I was a little rude with that last message, but he was rude to tell me that I thought I was “too good” for a trailer park. I mean, really?? Where the hell did he even get that from?? I’VE LIVED IN AN APARTMENT COMPLEX MY WHOLE LIFE BEFORE I LIVED THERE. Seriously… I had never lived in an actual house. Always, always, always an apartment. && Did I think there was something wrong with that?? No. Never. I lived without television and internet for a good year or so. Did I think I was better than that?? No. Hell, when I was living with my mother, we lived off of food stamps for MONTHS and I never even considered being “too good” for that sort of stuff. Just… UGH. That’s disgusting that he’d even bring that up. But yeah… So anyways… I was in math class after this and couldn’t text, so I didn’t check my messages until after I got out. This is what I came back to…
“i tell you all this cause you have become an adult in age and mind but not in wisdom”
he doesn’t have as much “wisdom” as he thinks he does, so he can shut up about that.
“and the only time you ever listen is when it worked around your way”
no. not even. i listen to his bullshit all the time. everything about how I’m a horrible daughter and i never listen and i’m hurting my family too much with what i’m doing and blah, blah, blah. everything i do is wrong. i get it. i just don’t believe it because it’s not true.
“seems to me i hit on a little truth somewhere”
no, you didn’t. i was in class, doing homework. ya know? like a good student does. sorry i didn’t get around to fighting with you more. :P
“so how long where you planing this moving out before you did it”
i was never PLANNING to move out. i mean, i was eventually. but not then. he had asked me not to and said that he’d try to be a better person, but he wasn’t and the second he started treating me like shit, i left because i was 18 and could do whatever the hell i wanted. i don’t deserve to be treated like this, so why should i put up with it anyway?
“oh by the way so far the only differance between you and your mom so far is you dont have a kid and you see where that went dont you”
OH NO HE FUCKING DIDN’T… I just… UGH. This is disgusting and vile. I AM NOT MY MOTHER. I will never leave behind the people that I love for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I will never lie to them and betray them like she betrayed me. & To even suggest that Wesley is in any way shape or form like Mark is the worst insult ever. I could skin him alive for even making that comparison. I can’t even think of words to say to express how much this upsets me.
But yeah… So anyways… That was the predominance of our fight. There was some more texting going on back and forth, but nothing worth of any note besides the fact that he’s not coming to my wedding, he sure as hell isn’t walking me down the aisle and he might not allow my brother to come because he’s a dick like that.
So yeah.
Life sucks.
That’s all.
So I’ve gotten close to nothing done today…
I cleaned off my computer so it runs a lot smoother, wrote Taylor and mine’s meal plan, showered, got ready, and cleaned the room a little. I didn’t eat much today. Breakfast this morning was a bagel with strawberry cream cheese and lunch wasn’t until after Wesley got home and made broccoli with chick’n and some Asian sort of sauce. I’m starving now, but we are going out to dinner soon, so hopefully I’ll get a ton to eat.
My meal plan says that I need 2,300 calories a day in order to gain 1lb a week. Gah… That is so much. :P I don’t know what to do or how on Earth I’m going to eat that much, but I will.
Anyways… Something that’s been on my mind a lot lately… Babies. :/ Don’t ask why. I just really miss being around small children. Especially babies. I need to go down to St. George so that I can be around my little cousins. I know this craving for a child will go away as soon as I get my fill of ANY little kid. But yeah… I really want a kid. I know it’s not smart and no I won’t do anything stupid so that I get knocked up, but I want a kid. I really do. Is it bad that I’ve asked Wesley multiple times to knock me up before he leaves for basic so that I have something to look after and care for while he’s busy in AIT?? Haha. Seriously… I’m gonna have to adopt a cat or something when I’m alone. I don’t know how I’ll deal. I’m so used to being around him and caring for him and wanting to take care of him that the thought of him leaving and me having nothing to do is weird… So I need a kid. Or a cat. Or something.
Yeah. I’ll stop now. That’s all.
- Slam her against a door - simply grab her and push her back into the door. Press yourself into her and start making out with her aggressively. This can also work on a wall, but you have to be more careful not to bump into anything (it can hurt and break her out of the moment).
- Pull her hair - For foreplay, stay behind her, kissing her neck, and pull her hair back - girls really go crazy for this. Or, when you’re doing her doggy style which is a dominant position, you can enhance your dominance by pulling her hair (the closer to the roots the better) and saying dirty words to her.
- Pin her down - girls love when they are being controlled, and give her a dirty little smirk while you’re at it. Pin her hands above her head while you are making out; she’s bound to go crazy.
- Fuck her hard, fast, and deep - the more you comprehend this the better. Be the alpha male. Girls go crazy for that shit.. seriously eat it right up, especially if you keep a nice, steady pace that will leave their thighs and legs sore. Thrust your hips against hers. Don’t stop.
- Manhandle her into a position - show her you’re the boss. Make her feel good by switching positions, the right ones, and this will also keep you both lasting longer. You do not want to be boring. Grab her by the legs, arms, waist, or really any body part necessary to get into the position you want to fuck in.
- Be touchy - and what I mean by this is squeeze her ass, grab her breasts, and get a good grip on her hips. Also do the above with your hands. Hickies are trashy when visible, but a good reminder of what a great time you hand when found in places only she will know about. The best kept secret. A girl will love your touch anywhere it is, and the harder you grip the more she is yours.
- Get creative - This is seriously the biggest thing to do. Have an idea? You might as well try it. The worst she can do is tell you to stop it, but nine times out of then she won’t, and even more chances are that she will love it just as much as you are. The best times in the bedroom are those spent experimenting.
(via twigtotoned)
(Source: drunkonstevphen, via stfuconservatives)
“We should not be silent, our scars are the language in which we tell our story.”
(Source: narglechampion, via stfuconservatives)
(via stfuconservatives)
bloodandhope replied to your post: Update:
I see your username is back! And I’m glad things are going well :)
Haha. Yeah. Thanks. I had it changed for a while, but couldn’t stand not being Strongerdaybyday anymore. I’m at the point where I really don’t care if anyone in my family sees and reads this. I’m proud of everything that I’m doing and overcoming and if they want to criticize me for it, let them! I’m making myself happy for me now. :)
Update:
So much has been going on as of lately. I’m never on my laptop anymore because I never have the time/want to be on it!
But anyways, me and Wesley are getting healthier. Like, a lot healthier. We bought some protein powder today. && My first ever luna and cliff bar (both peanutbutter, so I can see which ones I like more). I’m so excited to try them tomorrow! :)
I also had to get some anti-fungal cream because I somehow ended up with a ring worm under my arm. :/ UGH. This is the second ring worm I’ve ever had and they are so annoying! Most people NEVER get them. Am I just prone to them or something?
Wesley is also painting a picture of us for our wedding. It’s coming along very nicely and he’s proud of how my left eye looks so far. It’s saying a lot when he’s willing to show my an unfinished piece of art because he loves the way it looks so far.
I’m also making custom meal plans for Wesley, myself, and some of my friends at school. If you want one, shoot me a message or email me at adriana.gillis@yahoo.com. It’ll probably only be be $3-$5 a week or so. But I’d probably refund a small amount if you are willing to take before/after pictures and write your own weightloss story and evaluate how well my plan worked! I’m pretty confident that it will all work really well because I did this exact same plan last summer when I went from 93lbs to 100lbs and looked like this:
I just never actually wrote the exact plan down. So I’m doing that now and putting the finishing touches on it.
I absolutely love being with my fiance’ all the time. He’s amazing and caring and just an all around wonderful person. I can’t imagine where I’d be without him.
(Source: nonplussedbyreligion, via bitchesguidetoetiquette)
